Ask yourself these simple questions:
Is this feeling interfering with my normal life?
Is my jealousy hurting someone I love?
Does my jealousy control me more than I control it?
If the answer is yes to any of these questions, then you may consider seeking help.
Jealousy is an emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and frustrated feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, particularly in reference to a human connection. Jealousy often consists of a combination of presenting emotions such as anger, resentment, inadequacy, helplessness and disgust. Wikipedia
Jealousy has been around since the beginning of time and can be quite useful. However when it is intense, irrational or fueled by a low self worth, the story is very different.
“Jealousy is a natural emotion but it can be painful and difficult to control.”
That’s right – Jealousy can put a huge strain on any relationship, leaving one partner feeling as though they’re constantly walking on eggshells to avoid a jealous reaction. Some days will be great and some days it can feel as if you are running in circles having to deal with the same situation over and over, making you tired and placing huge strain on the relationship. Interesting enough in most cases the jealous partner is aware of their problem, having swings between anger, self-blame, insecurity and absolute justification. And if left that way, what otherwise could have been a long and happy relationship is destined to failure.
Consider the following when dealing with your own emotions:
- Understand the emotion of jealousy and ask yourself why you feel jealous in the first place.
- Look at the effect your jealous behavior has on other people.
- Be alert to the possibility that it is your own viewpoint that is distorting reality.
- Trade your anger for curiosity, try to get the bigger picture before making rash judgments.
- Change any false beliefs that might be fueling your jealousy.
Jealousy is basically a habit of negative thinking and subconscious associations. This is why some people find it so difficult to consciously prevent those activating thoughts, images or feelings that drive the irrational and all too often self-destructive behavior.
Hypnotherapy and NLP Life Coaching are valuable tools in helping overcome jealousy and with the help of a skillful and well trained NLP Life coach or Hypnotherapist you can change those subconscious programs and have a loving and trusting relationship.
Bennie Louw BA.Hons (Univ of Stell), Certified Hypnotherapist, NLP, HNLP Practitioner/Coach and Certified Parts Therapy Facilitator.
Tel: +27 82 729 8899 – bennie@metaphore.co.za
“you never know how far a change can go”
No matter what you think you are, you are always more than that!